Greetings from a Gilmore Guy
Written by Nat Bourgon
November 2016
In September 2007, as a 19 year old university student, I was standing in the kitchen, in the house I was renting. I was pulling out expired food products from the fridge, to dispose of them, when suddenly a girl walked into the house, and smiled at me. She said hello spiritedly, but it wouldn't have mattered if there were no words uttered: It was all in her smile. From the instant that bright, upbeat, and contagious smile of hers swept across the room, and recruited my attention, I knew we were going to be friends. A connection was made that day, between that girl and I. That connection with that girl has endured to this day as the most profound, impactful, close friendship I have ever shared with another human being.
I still can't get over how such a subtle, low key smile ended up being the catalyst for a friendship for the ages. It was like this girl and I understood each other right from the get go. What's striking is that the first meeting was such a brief, and minor one. It came so unexpectedly. There was no faking, no putting on a show here. I didn't have time to be anything other than me, because the moment just sneaked right up on me. I was just living my life, going about my own business, when all of a sudden this moment materialized. Nothing was forced, there were no expectations of the girl becoming a close friend, there was just that moment happening and me being myself while the moment was unfolding, without a hyperactive, racing mind keen to make sense of the developments, and without intense self-awareness. This moment taught me to learn to appreciate the small scale, seemingly casual moments in life, as they may hold more significance and value than we could possibly imagine. Also, it taught me about the importance of being engrossed in the present moment, without over analyzing the context and meaning behind the moment. The minute you add in context and meaning is the minute that things become more complicated and messy than they need to be. Sometimes it's the most modest, unassuming moments that can make the biggest impact on a person's heart and mind, no further drama necessary.
Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed by adulthood, I bring myself back to this quiet, yet paramount fall 2007 moment of innocence, where I was just being me, and another human being took note, and we connected in a no-frills, unobtrusive, yet transformative way. In retrospect, I have realized that it is moments like this; pure, selfless love, with a side order of playfulness, that makes life such a special gift. In a technology age, I think it is so easy to forgot that comfort, connectivity and lightness can be retrieved more readily, and satisfyingly in person, sitting in a room across from a human being who you care about, yakking rehashed inside jokes from decades ago, and partaking in a bundle of laughs. Online social media is an alternative way to relate to others, but it ultimately doesn't feel nearly as affecting as being able to bond with someone where their eyes are across the table from you, instead of displaying on a screen.
With the return of Amy Sherman-Palladino's Gilmore Girls upon us in the form of a Netflix revival, it occurred to me that Gilmore Girls is important not only because it champions the underrated, subtle moments in life where we connect with each other in the face-to-face, look into my eyes style of communicating, but also because it equips us with a foolproof strategy to handle the more challenging times in life. Lorelai Gilmore often lightens the heavier obstacles she faces by adopting comical levity. She makes light of her conundrums, and laminates them in a goofy, yet whip-smart frame to get through them. Lorelai and Rory's close mother-daughter relationship expands as a result of their shared ability to deal with life's harder moments through whimsical wisecracks and clever, sheepish one liners. Gilmore Girls reminds us to enjoy our lives, even while navigating through conflict and uncertainty. For Lorelai Gilmore, positive vibes come from being able to view life as one long, loony gag reel, complete with a slew of mishaps worth laughing along with. The show demonstrates that there is great reward and satisfaction in embracing the surprisingly unexpected binds, and the bizarre and tangled circumstances that we find ourselves in, and making light of them. Oddball, quirky Kirk (and Cat Kirk) would most certainly agree!
Gilmore Girls is important because it teaches us to overcome hurdles through positive demeanor and snarky sass. The characters of Lorelai, Rory, Emily, Luke and Kirk are flawed characters; they each have areas of their life in need of attention and betterment. Yet, they find ways to come to terms with their own imperfections through witty dialogue, a commitment to making deep, close knit relationships with each other work despite the imperfections, and a willingness to gently, warmly mock their own selves. They don't run away from their problems. Even better, Stars Hollow residents are usually more than willing to enjoy the moment, and carry on with optimism and good humoured banter in between implementing changes. Gilmore Girls shows us that being positive doesn't have to mean being naive. The show reminds us that our status as "works in progress" shouldn't restrict our ability to get fired up on life, and walk around with that bounce in our step. Lorelai loves her generous helping of coffee to start the day, but even on the occasions where hasn't yet had her morning cup, she is still playful and spunky and charismatic. The series proves that laughing at ourselves doesn't have to be self deprecating. Gilmore demonstrates that living in the moment doesn't have to mean being ignorant of our warts. Ultimately, Gilmore Girls gives us permission to be simultaneously unfinished, yet sparkling.
